"I'm... Not very good at talking." Fucking understatement of the century, look how fucked up his relationship was with Chuck because they couldn't talk about things. "Sometimes I forget that people need things said out loud. And so I don't say things even though I think them and..."
He's not explaining this very well. Dammit.
"The only reason I've been hesitant to tell other people about our relationship is because I don't want them to question your work, your position, your skill. You're very young, sweetheart, and I'm no spring chicken. It would be logical — wrong, but logical — to assume that you being with me meant that I gave you special treatment or promoted you over someone more deserving who wasn't sleeping with me. You're so brilliant, the last thing I wanted was for someone to dismiss your work because they thought you got to where you are on your back."
He winces, knowing he'd fucking this up most likely, but deciding to plough on ahead anyway.
"I should have realized how it might seem to you. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry. I love you, Mako. You're the most important person in my life, and it kills me to think I've hurt you because I'm stupid and slow."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2013-08-09 05:52 pm (UTC)"I'm... Not very good at talking." Fucking understatement of the century, look how fucked up his relationship was with Chuck because they couldn't talk about things. "Sometimes I forget that people need things said out loud. And so I don't say things even though I think them and..."
He's not explaining this very well. Dammit.
"The only reason I've been hesitant to tell other people about our relationship is because I don't want them to question your work, your position, your skill. You're very young, sweetheart, and I'm no spring chicken. It would be logical — wrong, but logical — to assume that you being with me meant that I gave you special treatment or promoted you over someone more deserving who wasn't sleeping with me. You're so brilliant, the last thing I wanted was for someone to dismiss your work because they thought you got to where you are on your back."
He winces, knowing he'd fucking this up most likely, but deciding to plough on ahead anyway.
"I should have realized how it might seem to you. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry. I love you, Mako. You're the most important person in my life, and it kills me to think I've hurt you because I'm stupid and slow."